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Fic: Our Nation's Birthday

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Title: Our Nation's Birthday
Pairing: Assume everyone's still together except for Tom/Ann
Word count: I can't find the word count button in TextEdit
Rating: PG.
Disclaimer: If I owned this show, I'd be the happiest lady in the world! But I don't, thus my sadness.
Timeline: Post 4x22

Summary: 4th of July in Pawnee, Indiana

Author's Note: I tried to do this mostly in Talking Heads and references to shots made by the documentary crew because of reasons. Those reasons being: I'm not the most talented writer and I really just wanted to crank this idea out really fast. I wanted to finish this by the actual holiday but then I had to work more than usual and didn't have time to finish until this past weekend. I want to thank the ever helpful saucydiva, she gave me some really great suggestions. Also thanks to craponaspatula for the historical lesson on Gouverneur Morris. Oh, and I should credit americnxidiot, because America.



7 a.m. 1st 4th of July 5K run at Ramsett Park
Chris (Talking Head): It's just so wonderful that this event that I've planned is the one to kick off our nation's birthday in Pawnee! I'm just so excited for the turnout despite the heat and the fact that Pawnee remains the fourth most obese city in our nation.
[Shot of the five runners; one of them is Millicent Gergich.]
Chris (Talking Head): And isn't it great that Millicent Gergich showed up with her new boyfriend. It's so great that this isn't awkward ... at all!


10:15 a.m. after the Pawnee Rotary Club 4th of July Parade
Leslie (Talking Head): 4th of July in Pawnee is the most American way one can celebrate our nation's birthday. And despite it being 93 degrees at the time, the parade went great. Except ...
Andy (Talking Head): It was so funny when that councilman passed out due to "heat exhaustion" and fell on Leslie during the parade. [Shot of Councilman Howser's head falling on Leslie's breasts while they're riding in a white '68 Chevelle convertible.]
Ann (Talking Head): Councilman Howser is currently being treated for heat exhaustion at St. Joseph's. Pawneeans have a lot of hydration issues.


12 p.m. Harvey James Park pavilion
[Shot of Ron eating a lot of ribs with gusto.]


1 p.m. Patriotic Pet Contest at Ramsett Park
[Shot of Champion dressed as Captain America winning.]
Andy (Talking Head): Of course, my dog won. Because he's a champion. And because America!
Leslie (Talking Head): Andy declined my offer to dress Champion up as Founding Father Gouverneur Morris who - fun fact - said he lost his leg in a carriage accident but was a well-known ladies man and lost it when he jumped out of a window in order to escape a jealous husband.


3 p.m. Rec Center at Ramsett Park
[Shot of Pawnee's Most Bookable Personality Denise Yermley singing the Violent Femmes' "American Music" while Donna and Tom look on disgusted.]
Tom (Talking Head): It's not the Knotted Oak Amphitheatre at Eagleton ...
Donna (Talking Head): But, it's air-conditioned. Chumps.
[Shot of Jerry manning kids' fishing tournament at the creek. Tom and Donna high-five.]


6 p.m. Harvey James Park pavilion
[Shot of Ron eating hamburgers with gusto.]


9:30 p.m. Fireworks display begins at Ramsett Park
[shot of Leslie hugging April as fireworks go off. (April, of course, cringes at the physical contact.)]
April (Talking Head): With Leslie campaigning this spring, I had to plan the fireworks display.
Leslie: I'm just so proud of you for taking the initiative to build a better fireworks display for Pawneeans, April! They're spectacular, I think I'm going to cry.
Leslie (Talking Head): We tend to have the fireworks display at Harvey James Park because the zoo is at Ramsett and animals do freak out over fireworks, and despite being the second-largest park in Pawnee, Harvey James has the most Port-A-Potties. Not sure why exactly ... But I love that April took the initiative. (Leslie looks proud and dabs at her eyes.) The zookeeper will have to work overtime to deal with the animals' PTSD. But still, very proud!

9:45 p.m. in the middle of the fireworks display at Ramsett Park
[Shots of zoo animals freaking out in their cages.]
April (Talking Head): Who knew the zoo animals would get so crazy? Also, Ron didn't tell me any of that when he ordered the fireworks.
Andy (Talking Head): I left Champion at home ... in Ben's room. I know things.


10:30 p.m.
[Shot of Leslie sitting at her Parks desk working on iMovie on her laptop.]
Leslie (Talking Head): Despite all that, I captured the fireworks on video to send as an iMovie to Ben! He's stuck in D.C. since the holiday is in the middle of the week but we're going to catch up later while we watch a repeat of A Capitol Fourth on PBS. Happy Birthday America!
Current Location:
Midwest
Current Mood:
okay okay
Current Music:
Paul Revere - Beastie Boys
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On July 10th, 2012 04:38 am (UTC), isalsayourface commented:
This is awesome! I really like the talking heads concept, too! And, seriously, Ron must love the 4th of July because of the epic meat BBQ spread...:)

This was so perfectly Andy that I could not stop laughing:

Andy (Talking Head): Of course, my dog won. Because he's a champion. And because America!

-brilliant!
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On July 10th, 2012 04:41 am (UTC), sullen_aquarian replied:
The Andy line was my favorite too. And I didn't know that about Gouverneur Morris. I love when fic is both entertaining AND educational.
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On July 10th, 2012 06:23 am (UTC), ballroom_pink replied:
americnxidiot said it when she was requesting a 4th drabble and it just struck me as hilarious. And as something Andy would say (he hasn't right?).
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On July 10th, 2012 04:42 am (UTC), craponaspatula commented:
Hee hee! Dying over Ron eating and the animals freaking out.

And so happy to contribute some random trivia. :D
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On July 10th, 2012 06:24 am (UTC), ballroom_pink replied:
Thank you so much. Leslie would request this and probably in a deleted scene go on and on about this guy.
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On July 10th, 2012 05:14 am (UTC), stillscape commented:
Aw, this is so cute. I love Champion doing anything. Except digging. He's really bad at digging.
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On July 10th, 2012 06:25 am (UTC), ballroom_pink replied:
Thanks. Yes, he's really bad at digging.
MORE CHAMPION FIC!
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On July 10th, 2012 06:43 am (UTC), americnxidiot commented:
America!

This is great. Animals freaking out, Champion being a champion, Ron sitting silently and eating a hamburger :')
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On July 10th, 2012 01:41 pm (UTC), popgurlie commented:
Oh! This was just so much cuteness and fun! I smiled the whole time reading it. (And now I have "american music" in my head :))
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On July 10th, 2012 03:18 pm (UTC), jncar commented:
This is so fun! It reminds me a lot of a S2 episode, with the gang getting up to fun shenanigans.

Ron/meat is always the best ship. And the whole zoo animal thing is great. Plus Champion! We always need more Champion.
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On July 10th, 2012 06:10 pm (UTC), liebfraumi commented:
The script style is absolutely perfect. The characters´ voices get stronger in a way...

And you did the impossible: I felt sorry for Chris! If he says that something isn´t GREAT, this can only mean severe sadness.

Wonderful way to celebrate...because America. (*I giggled at that part)
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On July 11th, 2012 07:22 am (UTC), ballroom_pink replied:
That's so nice of you to write.
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On July 11th, 2012 03:53 am (UTC), greenshouse commented:
I can safely say that as a non-American, this fic made me feel strangely patriotic.

LOVED IT.
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On July 11th, 2012 07:21 am (UTC), ballroom_pink replied:
Thanks.
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On July 11th, 2012 12:21 pm (UTC), saucydiva replied:
That's because AMERICA
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On July 11th, 2012 12:30 pm (UTC), saucydiva commented:
You're too delightful, really. I love that Andy leaves Champion in Ben's room, and that April Jerryied the fireworks, and that Millie is one of five runners because it's Pawnee so of course she is. This is just darling.
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